I have never been able to go to sleep easily or at a decent time of night. Some days I am tired but for the most part I am fine.
For the first few weeks after surgery I slept like a baby. But since then I haven't. And just last week is when some supreme boredom kicked in to high gear.
I watched movies, read books and played games on my tablet but one night last week I decided to eat some grapes at 2am. And that is when the grazing began.
Now before you say anything my grazing has only included grapes, cherries and yogurt. Not bad but it's nothing I should be eating late at night.
I would usually have some carrot sticks if I wanted a snack after dinner or even water. But by the middle of the week I began having some crazy anxiety. And instead of talking about it with my husband I went to my old best friend, food.
When I finally talk to my husband today he gave me comforting words and remind me to get not be mad at myself and to get back on track. And believe me my husband and daughter will make sure I do.
But the anxiety happens about the same time every year since 2012. Why? Because on during the summer of 2011 I began to feel awful. And I mean awful. Think of the flu mixed with a hangover. I celebrated my birthday on September 15th and by September 28 is when it got worse. That day I passed out while taking to my daughter. The ambulance came and I awoke in a emergency room.
Hours later I was told I had a infection due to a autoimmune problem and would be discharged later in the week. A lot of drama insured after that. I was put in ICU and was told a few hours later that I had cancer. During my hospital stay I was put in ICU three times and hospice once. The doctors told my family to prepare for the worst. But by October 25 I began to come around and was put in the cancer unit. But Halloween I was in remission. But I was finally discharged March 24 and was told that I was in complete remission.
I may be repeating the story but that experience is the one part of my life that makes me scared beyond belief. So this time of year I get really frightened and my nerves are shot.
So when you begin to graze or consider to eat things that you know you shouldn't, especially late at night, ask yourself..Why are you eating? Are you really hungry? Is there something on your mind? Really rationalize everything you put in your mouth.
Anyway I hope you enjoyed my long post. And be mindful of what you eat and whym
For the first few weeks after surgery I slept like a baby. But since then I haven't. And just last week is when some supreme boredom kicked in to high gear.
I watched movies, read books and played games on my tablet but one night last week I decided to eat some grapes at 2am. And that is when the grazing began.
Now before you say anything my grazing has only included grapes, cherries and yogurt. Not bad but it's nothing I should be eating late at night.
I would usually have some carrot sticks if I wanted a snack after dinner or even water. But by the middle of the week I began having some crazy anxiety. And instead of talking about it with my husband I went to my old best friend, food.
When I finally talk to my husband today he gave me comforting words and remind me to get not be mad at myself and to get back on track. And believe me my husband and daughter will make sure I do.
But the anxiety happens about the same time every year since 2012. Why? Because on during the summer of 2011 I began to feel awful. And I mean awful. Think of the flu mixed with a hangover. I celebrated my birthday on September 15th and by September 28 is when it got worse. That day I passed out while taking to my daughter. The ambulance came and I awoke in a emergency room.
Hours later I was told I had a infection due to a autoimmune problem and would be discharged later in the week. A lot of drama insured after that. I was put in ICU and was told a few hours later that I had cancer. During my hospital stay I was put in ICU three times and hospice once. The doctors told my family to prepare for the worst. But by October 25 I began to come around and was put in the cancer unit. But Halloween I was in remission. But I was finally discharged March 24 and was told that I was in complete remission.
I may be repeating the story but that experience is the one part of my life that makes me scared beyond belief. So this time of year I get really frightened and my nerves are shot.
So when you begin to graze or consider to eat things that you know you shouldn't, especially late at night, ask yourself..Why are you eating? Are you really hungry? Is there something on your mind? Really rationalize everything you put in your mouth.
Anyway I hope you enjoyed my long post. And be mindful of what you eat and whym
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